Home, sweet home.

So as you all may know by now, I am home! Finally. Three weeks in the hospital wasn't so bad when I look back on it. I still have 2 months and almost 2 weeks of summer left to go! Now we'll see if I really have that much left to go. I have a doctor appointment with my orthopedic doctor, Dr. Cohen, in July. At this appointment, I will tell him about how awesome my arm is not feeling, and perhaps there could be a removal of a plate from my bone. That means surgery! Oh dear. But I'm sure that it won't be half as bad as getting the plate put in. We'll see what he says. I was told by him that if my arm still hurt a year after, than taking out a plate may be a possibility. Also, taking out the plate may improve my range of motion in my wrist. I currently can't turn it over without a severe amount of pain. This makes taking change very tricky.

Aside from the arm, I feel just O.K. Not amazing, as I wish I did. Being back outside and able to be free has left me vulnerable to allergens. Just tonight I was outside for a little bit and in the public to go to the mall. While watching a movie, I started to have the same troubles breathing as I did prior to going into the hospital. From this I concluded one thing: There's no hope. Haha. All around me there are particles sparking my allergies. Allergies spark my asthma. Asthma sparks my CF. CF sparks... oh you get the picture. It's just no good. So far, after one day being home, it's taken a lot to get used to doing my meds and pills and checking my blood sugar the way I should, but I'm doing it so far. One of my nurses, Stephanie, told me I better keep it up for her. She was an amazing person. So kind and generous. She viewed me as a person, not as just another patient. She was refreshing, and I do plan to keep up everything for her, and for me of course. But overall I aim to please others in most cases.

I was talking to my best friend Jen tonight, and we got talking about a boy that I passed in the hospital who was going for a lung transplant. She asked me if it ever got that bad if I would do it. I personally am not so sure I would like to, but if anyone that I truly cared about wanted me to, I would do it for them. If my disease ever progressed that much, there wouldn't be much of a life for me to live, and I'm not sure I'd want to prolong something like that. If someone I cared about wanted me to attempt to take new lungs, I would only do it for their sake. Jen thinks I'm crazy. I think I am just trying to help everyone around me cope a little bit better. I try to be strong for those who can't be. I try not to cry for those who can't take it. I talk about good when others can only see and feel the grief and anger regarding the disease I am fighting. But ultimately, as Dumbledore says, "We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on."