Updateroo.

Justin and Ashley finally had their baby! Her name is Ella Winter and she is absolutely precious! I went to visit her Saturday night and she was the most quiet baby I had ever seen, but apparently not so quiet when you want to sleep. Congratulations guys! You'll be wonderful parents! I figured that everyone had heard about this happening, but for those who didn't, now you do!

I got to spend the end of my day and my night with Jamie, too. It's always nice to spend time with your family, and to me, Jamie is more like a best friend than anything else. We had a great time. We always seem to get ourselves way more excited than necessary over things that we want to do. Haha. We went to KFC, Blockbuster, and Tops, and had nothing but fun. There's always fun when Jamie is around, regardless if you are doing something or just talking. We had a pretty good talk about life too, and it felt nice to relate to her in another way, though I won't say exactly how. She is just amazing when you are really just up to seeing family.

I suppose I should update about school and clinicals and health as well! I woke up today with a definite cold. I guess this means I can't visit Ella until it's gone, but she will be here for a while still! ;-) So I slept all day today and relaxed. Although my lungs still feel like there is a bog inside them and I still have a fever, my throat feels completely better. That definitely could have been caused by sleeping with my fan on, which I love to do because the noise puts me to sleep. Clinical has been going pretty well! I work in the pediatric clinic every Friday and I have a blast. All I do is take vitals and give immunizations (which I love) but I have the best time of my life. This last Friday, there was a patient who had to get 5 different shots. She was about 4 years old I believe (not my patient), and dad wanted us to do all 5 at the same time. That's exactly what happened. Five nurses went in equipped with one needle a piece. We held her down with the help of dad and got it done in less than 5 seconds. I personally think it worked better that way because usually we do two at a time (one nurse for each leg) and then the other two. If we would have done that, we would have had to stick her 3 separate times, and after the first stick, the kid knows what's coming and doesn't thoroughly enjoy it.

School itself is going great. I've got 100's in my classes so far based on quizzes and tests and I feel as though I have little to no homework. This is a good thing in case I get too sick. I decided this year that if I get hospital sick, I will actually go into the hospital instead of waiting. Last school year I waited and as a consequence lost nearly 15% of my lung function in the process. I gained some of it back but it still took a toll on my body. It definitely taught me not to wait it out too long if I think I'm getting sick. Anyways, it's late, I don't feel fantastic, and I need some more sleep aside from the nearly 14 hours I've gotten since last night.

Finally...

I was invited to a party on campus. This never happens. I don't feel well enough to go. This is typical, but I'm so sick of it.
I don't want to be sick anymore.

Happy birthday to meeee.

So today has been an amazing day already, one of the most intense birthdays I've had so far. I got a guitar near the end of August, which was more than enough. My mom and dad also got me an amp to go with it. That's fantastic. I better get pretty good at this. My sister got me some things from Bath and Body works that are supposed to help me sleep, because I have difficulty getting to bed, and a Macy's gift card. So today we are going to go shopping for a bit, which is a change from the norm because I have been a poor child this month. Haha. I'm taking up little jobs here and there to earn some more money because I hate to ask my parents for it, though they are beyond willing to give it. If anyone knows of a family who might need a babysitter on the weekend, mention me. I'm qualified! Well anyways, have a fantastic day and thanks to all who sent me birthday wishes!

Pleeeaaassseeeee.

Hey hey! Whattaya say? I want a Mountain Day!

I really want a mountain day tomorrow so I can take off 2 of my classes that I dislike so severely. I would still have to go to epidemiology, but I'm OK with that as long as I can get away from a horrid teacher of mine for one day!

For those who don't know, Mountain Day is the college's day to cancel classes(except night classes, and clinicals too... boo), and bring fun and festivities to the campus instead, which I have never gone too. We earn this by going to the president's house every night within a certain week (this week) and singing school songs. Technically, I don't go, I just reap the rewards. Everyone had better sing pretty darn loud. I'm not wasting my gas to sing to someone I have difficulty dealing with. I realize I have difficulty dealing with quite a few people at college! Some personalities just don't mesh, and after seeing the inner workings of the college, you would be a bit bamboozled with certain people as well. Especially when they are using the money you pay for schooling to send the president on trips to, as he referred to it, "Chili". How can you go somewhere you can't even spell? I ask myself to this day. Haha. Fannntastic.

Because I'm not the only one.

So I was truly realizing today that I am not the only one with problems worth talking about. A while back, when my friend Carla was going through a really rough time (she has CF as well), I told her to just suck it up. Stop complaining. Don't blame everything wrong in your life on one incident or the fact that you have a chronic disease. Everyone with CF dies. She was no different. I felt like she wasn't emotionally stable, and I also thought, if I was able to handle it, why wasn't she?

Well I am very willing to eat my words. Given the circumstances she has been going through, I honestly think I had no right to think the way I did. I've had a long time to think about it and talk to my parents about it, and I've realized my opinions and thoughts aren't the only opinions and thoughts out there. While I only deal with my CF, Diabetes, Asthma, occasional acid reflux, and occasional arthritis, Carla is dealing with far more. As far as I know, Carla is dealing with CF, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, Depression, PTSD, some newly acquired pain that puts her in agony every time she goes to move, and she just recently had sinus surgery because her sinuses were so full. Wowza. That's a true handful of problems. Of course there is definitely someone out there that has it worse, but I've realized that at the same time, there are a lot of people out there that have it so much better.

My most bitter dispute with Carla was about her emotional and mental problems. I never understood how someone could go through life constantly down when there is so much to look up to. It really became heated when I blamed her psychiatrist dad for enabling her mental illness. I knew at the time that I had taken it too far. I apologized soon after that for doubting everything she was going through, and especially that comment.

So you may be asking, what is the point of this little entry?

I just felt I should mention it because at times I feel like I am the only one suffering and it makes me so angry and so upset. But then I think about how bad I could have it, and it makes me happy that I am dealing with so little. This past summer into now, I have not felt myself. I have been fatigued and generally sick. I have not, however, been so sick I couldn't do things. I have been very down in the dumps and have changed my view on depression. I do believe it exists. But I personally think I am able to handle it without the help of medications and with my family being a constant positive influence. That is just me. Just because I know that it is a possibility with myself, it is not always a possibility for others. As my little blip of information to the side says, my views and opinions are constantly changing. If I am given a reason to change my opinions, than I definitely will.

I will not, however, change my opinion that Obama is far better than McCain. =]

Ultimately, Carla, I want to give you a high five for dealing with all you do. You are fantastic for forgiving my not so forgiving words, and perhaps you saw that I had gone a little mental myself at that point in my life. Haha.

So everyone who reads this, remember that it is alright to be a little down sometimes, because it's a given that someone out there has it better than you. But at the same time, live every day in the most positive way that you can, because you know that someone always has it worse than you, too.

I hope.

I hope I don't whine and ask for attention as much as some other people do. Just wanted to make this statement, because gosh is it irritating when certain people with no problems do so!

I can't hold grudges.

My friend and I are alright now. We talked and I explained the way I felt about the whole situation, and we are alright. End of story.

Week #2. And a tidbit.

I got through my second week of school unscathed. I have yet to do homework, but I know it will all come at once. I feel like this term will be fun though because I have amazing clinical instructors. AMAZING. I wish I could say the same for everything else in life! Lately I've been realizing how antisocial I am, and how I like it that way. I've been forcing myself to be with the people I like because I know how unhealthy it would be to do otherwise. I thought some of my friends had moved on from me, and officially, I got proof tonight. One of my old best friends in the whole entire world wrote the following thing in an away message on AIM (AOL Instant Messenger for those who are unaware):

I never thought I would meet people that were more amazing than the friends I had in high school. Wow did you prove me wrong. Everyone from the past seems so worthless now.

Wow, that seems a little harsh. I'm glad my one time best friend now thinks everyone she used to know is worthless. By now, you (old friend) have to realize why people may be drifting away from you. I have never seen anything so rudely and forwardly stated. If you WANT to lose every friend you have ever made, this is one way to do it. Even if you don't miss someone or care about them anymore, that doesn't give you the right to say they are worthless. I never knew this was how she felt until tonight, and I am not happy. Someone definitely just lost a friend, for good.

One week down, too many more to go!

So I have gone through one week back at school so far. My last first week back ever! I have classes on Tuesday-Friday only. The earliest my classes start is 9AM. I get to sleep in a lot, and truly have a lot of free time. Of course, soon I will be filling this "free time" with papers, projects, and care plans. I'm taking my nursing classes in the areas of family, where I will be going to Joint Camp at Robert Packer, and pediatrics, which I can't wait for! I don't know exactly what RPH will have to offer along the lines of pediatrics. I hope it is interesting, regardless! I'm also in a class called Epidemiology. It seems extremely interesting, and it's only once a week, but I'm very excited for what it has to offer. Last of my classes includes Complementary Health Therapies. That class is crazy and I don't believe in a lot of it, so it may be difficult to get through.

Also, within the first week of school, I went to a foam dance party. I went for the first time last year, and I loved it. So this year I went and saw two of my friends I rarely get to see. My friend Ashley was accepted to Elmira College this year, and I'm glad she's here! Also, as some may have seen earlier, my friend Megan is also going to Elmira College. She is the one with Cystic Fibrosis as well. I hugged her the other night when I saw her, and it was almost as exciting as meeting a celebrity. It sounds strange, but it is the closest I've ever been to another Cystic! I have a feeling we will see each other a lot and get to hang out, yes hang out, a lot this year! How exciting!

Now for the less exciting news. It's been one week back, and I had to ask for chest pt tonight. For anyone who doesn't know, this is a method of clearance where someone beats you repeatedly on your back, sides, and sometimes front to make the mucus in your lungs move. But this is not a good sign. It means that the mucus in my lungs feels thick enough that I am not able to clear it on my own. I'm not sure if it is an infection or if I'm just having a bad couple of days! It worries me a bit, but it doesn't matter. Regardless, I have to get through school and no matter how sick I may get, I don't have the choice of missing a day. I'll just keep pushing through, and getting a lot of rest! Just a quick update, but now I must go do more treatments and possibly more chest pt. I hope this goes away!

My new favorite song.

I love the lyrics of this song. Just thought I'd post it!