So I'm finally updating.

Hello again! I haven't been writing because I haven't been in the mood. I'm not now either, but I figure that those who want an update deserve an update. I've only been in 7 days so far. I'm feeling a little better, but I know that I'm not 100%. Stairs tire me out and breathing is actually getting a little more difficult after I had a few days of decent breathing. Nothing in my chest is moving. Breathing treatments don't feel like they are doing much. But on the other hand, I can't be positive that things aren't getting better. Sometimes my body plays tricks on me like that.

Tomorrow I get more PFT's done and, according to my current doctor, if they haven't improved, he has a new plan of action. I will go on a different antibiotic for at least a week, which means I will be missing even more school than expected. If my numbers are better, maybe I'll be out by the end of the week. I can only hope. I'm keeping a tally of the amount of clinicals I'm missing, and most importantly, I'm keeping track of whether or not I'll be able to do the assignment I had wanted to do for nursing. We have a health promotion project that is due by the end of the term, but it requires a lot of work and research. My project is to do Girl Talk, which the Guthrie used to do for young girls. It's basically talking to girls about their growing bodies and the changes they will go through and getting them prepared to become a woman. I really like to do it, and if I'm not out in time to get research done and such, then I won't be able to, and I will have to come up with another option all on my own. I can't get too far ahead of myself though. I need to maintain a positive attitude amidst the turmoil that is currently my life.

It's not like I've never gone through something like this, so I know I am capable of making it up. The problem is, how much is the school going to be ABLE to help me make up. For every clinical I miss and have to make up, the school has to pay the facility and the instructor. I feel that Elmira makes enough money that they can do this, and they could probably pay the instructors much better, actually, but they are only required to make "reasonable accommodations", and who knows what they consider "reasonable". Regardless of the situation, I need to get better. It won't do me any good to let myself go and get too sick to even get through school. I've been concerned with the possibility of being a five year senior, but if I'm really true to myself, I wouldn't care if it took ten years to become a nurse. I would do it. This stay is the first time in my life I have had a doctor come right out and tell me that he totally agrees with my choice to become a nurse. He said that it's a great choice because I will have the empathy and compassion to do it. Hopefully, I'll also have one of the good-looking, Harry Potter loving residents too. Hey, a girl can dream. =]

To add to my quick list of worries, I'm afraid my blood sugar is going to plummet and go so low that I go comatose. Not funny, but it would prove some doctors wrong. After expressing my concern about weight gained every time I come in the hospital, the doctor told me to stop ordering extra food, which I do because the small portions don't fulfill my hunger. Not to mention, with a CF diet, all my small portions are infused with fat and calories, so ordering more is like a death sentence for someone wishing to not gain weight. Anyway, I told said doctor that I eat because I am hungry, not because I'm bored. I told him that even when my intestines feel full of food, my stomach itself can still be growling, and that is when I eat. His response: stop eating when your starving... I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do that. Usually when people are hungry they eat. I am the same way. So I decided this morning to eat very little, well I guess it wasn't my decision, they didn't give me a menu for the previous day so I didn't get what I wanted, so my breakfast consisted of scrambled eggs and a hot cocoa. So I'm just waiting for my blood sugar to plummet after eating a whole 15 grams of carbohydrates and taking 13 units of humalog. That'll teach them. Them being... Oh it won't teach anyone anything. I'll just look like an idiot. Actually, I better go get an apple juice.