How it feels.

So one thing I was hoping to accomplish with this blog was to help people get a better understanding of how it felt to be me. Currently, I am awaiting a hospital stay tomorrow. I am sick and it is mostly feeling like asthma mixed in with a little bit of being completely worn out. So I am deciding to try and explain how it feels when I run out of breath. Earlier this morning I was playing with my dog. I was throwing a bottle around for her to catch and she started running around so I had to keep spinning in circles to catch up with her. I wasn't running. I wasn't jumping. I wasn't even doing anything exciting with her. But within 10 seconds, I felt like all of the air in my body had been exhausted. This is the way it usually is when I am sick.


I would imagine that everyone knows what it feels like to be out of breath after running. That is how I feel after doing simple tasks, such as putting my hair up, bending over to pick something up, getting out of bed. It is absolutely exhausting on so many levels. Something as simple as the tasks mentioned before start me into what feels like a severe asthma attack. It feels as though someone has put a hand over my mouth and is only letting me gasp for breaths, but these are my breaths at their deepest. It feels like coughing could help, and so I do, but it only makes the amount of pressure that hand has over my mouth increase. These attacks subside in anywhere from 10-30 minutes. They occur at least 3-4 times an hour.


This really only occurs when I'm sick, and I'm positive it will pass, but it is still very upsetting and scary when it does occur. My admission is scheduled for tomorrow, and it may be anywhere between 1-3 weeks. I am actually very happy to be going in and getting the help I need. My mom will take me up in the morning tomorrrow and stay the night because of the long drive. She will leave the next day. I have been waiting for this admission for months. There have been times when I didn't think I could make it to tomorrow to get admitted, and I probably shouldn't have, but school was not forgiving enough for my situation. I have been fatigued and fighting this for the past 2-2 1/2 months. It's finally time to get treated. For the first time in a long time, I'm very excited to be admitted. This summer will go my way, and I will be able to enjoy it like a normal teenager!! :o)